Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
