She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just wanna be euthanized
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza