dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.