Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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