one might say we're banned from that church
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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