Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
