So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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