there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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