Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
