I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We are all done wearing pants today
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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