WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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