I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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