my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
