I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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