Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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