If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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