So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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