oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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