hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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