Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
