Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's blow job season.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
