we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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