I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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