Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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