watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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