Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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