Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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