My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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