Need sex. Gaining weight.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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