Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm passing your future prison.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
