The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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