Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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