Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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