Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
