So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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