Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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