did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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