i think i have two assholes
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
