I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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