do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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