highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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