i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
