Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
