Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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