So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
