Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
