I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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