Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
