i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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