Christians are straight up FREAKS
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
