no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
