I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize