Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
