Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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