She announced her abortion via fbk
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
