Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
