I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
