When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize